how stars find their way back home

Revelation of the day: Foods with fragmented and/or tiny little bones SUCK.

So yesterday night I had the weirdest dream I've ever had. Probably. I mean I might have had an even weirder dream and just didn't remember. Darn memory. Anyway, I've realized that orally telling a story is a lot harder than it seems, especially in the case of dreams, because its hard to gather and organize all the details and then present them in an orderly fashion.

Well anyway, to begin, if I had just one word to describe this dream, it would be deer. I realize that deer is not an adjective and normally I would agree that it should not be used to describe anything, least of all be the one word that describes anything in particular; you can't say, "Oh yeah, today was very deer" unless of course, you're referring to 'dear' in which case you might be making a pun which I definitely approve of. In this case, however, there is naught but deer to describe this very dear dream, daring as it was, from the dreams of Darren. I totally rocked that wordplay.

So what happened was this. One day I find a baby deer somehow, I don't recall it as well now that its been 12 hours since I've woken up. It might have burst out of a meteor or dropped off by the stork, but regardless, I found myself with a baby deer in my possession. I raised that deer like my very own deer. In fact, if my dream is any accurate at all, it would be undeniable but a great deer owner I would be. I raised it so well at one point, it started to evolve. Being the great owner that I was, I opted not to press the B button when it was made known to me that I had the option of my deer growing super long legs or super short legs. I'm not sure how anything would 'grow' shorter legs but oh well. I chose the long legs, adhering to the innate bias towards longer objects that many humans seem to possess. Life was good.

One day, I happened to be playing out in the yard with some buddies, and the only person I can distinctly recall is a very drunk Elias. He was very happy. That's all I really remember. So after this jovial gathering, I march back to my house, which at this point in the dream is this huge ranch styled house, picket fence included. I notice offhandedly that the fence gate is ajar and as I enter the house, it slowly dawns on me that my deer might have run away for some reason. I run through the house searching for my deer. I search in the cupboard, I search under the bed, I search in the toilet, and then I realize I really have no idea how big my deer really is. I find a cage in the living room with a rabid hamster in it and I don't even know what's going on anymore. I look outside once again and drop to my knees in despair as the camera zooms out dramatically, realizing that my deer has gone missing.

Several years pass, I don't know why, when one day I notice one of the neighbors has a farm in what would be his driveway. The way I recall it right now, his driveway was like a clown car and animals just flooded into the streets from said driveway; except, because the driveway wasn't covered, animals just appeared out of thin air what is this I dont even. So I start to think about my deer and wonder if any of these animals would have information on his disappearance. I strike up a conversation with a nearby sheep or llama, because all animals can speak duh, and it informs me in some cryptic vague riddle that my deer was spotted walking into the distance several years ago. I try to ask where to but this sheep/llama doesn't give me a straight answer. I'm about to give up hope when a surfer dude falls from the sky and tells me the deer is in a house down the street. I say oh. All I could say was oh. Then I pulled out my baretta...

I march into the house when I see my deer. An epic confrontation happens in slow mo in which I learn that my deer has been some evil secret spy this entire time. I take it upon myself to stop him and we engage in battle. We grapple and at some point, I look up only to find that he has turned into Chris Im on crack. I struggle in vain as his powers are magnified and he traps me in some deathly head lock. All hope seems lost. Then, a montage of myself doing something something I suppose flashes before my eyes, allowing me to awaken the sharingan, except awesomer because I am totally not like those little nerd otakus who dream about having ninja powers no offense to otakus. Magically, we appear on top of some spiraling stairs and I throw Chris down, save the day, and pose for a long while. Credits start to roll and I wake up very confused.

ALSO, WE FUCKING CAPSIZED TODAY HELL YEAH
Wow, that was hella surreal. Hella surreal, dude.